


Swimming in the Dark

by Ladyhawk_lhflu



Series: Bijou [2]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: BDSM, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-01-31 14:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21447976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu
Summary: Trust is vital. That doesn't make it any easier to figure out.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: Bijou [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/758094
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Swimming in the Dark

Rodney stared at John as John flinched. "Do you want me to put this on you or not?" he asked as he held John's modified collar in front of the kneeling man's neck.

John stared at the decorated piece of leather and nodded. He hadn't expected Rodney to actually spend time making the symbol of John's submission look, well, as Rodney said yesterday, less insulting. Now, it was covered in colored wires arranged in spirals and waves. With what looked like a plastic mock sapphire prominently in the front.

John knew Rodney could pay attention to details, but he didn't expect him to try detailed crafts. But he could see Rodney had taken the effort to make sure the designs were symmetrical and carefully attached to the leather. Then the astrophysicist had found a way to hide a quick-release clasp on the side. John had found so many ways of disguising collars that he wasn't sure what to think about one that he could take off in a second. Did Rodney not want others to know? Was he ashamed of being with John?

The submissive could see his Maitre's puzzled face as he still held back from completely accepting the collar held before him. He sighed. He hated discussing his choices and his issues. But he could see that Rodney was trying to do the right thing. He would have to help Rodney understand that being a little cruel was the right thing to do when John was on his knees.

It wouldn't be easy. Wolf had been too cruel, then too indecisive in equal turns. Sumner had bordered on abusive. John didn't understand why he chose the wrong people. He had had other doms (both male and female), but none of them had been quite right. Maybe it was him, and not them. Maybe the anger inside him that he sought to control was just too much for anyone to handle.

So he hesitated. He didn't want to end up hurting Rodney. He knew he could be overwhelming. Wolf had made that clear almost from the beginning of their relationship. It was hard to completely let go of the military training. It was hard to not take charge. This was why he needed a dom. If he wasn't forced to let go of command at times, he became uptight, worried, and ineffective.

Rodney laid a hand on John's cheek. "Are you sure you want to do this?" John sighed as he looked up at Rodney. "I don't want you to end up hating me because of this. I can be difficult."

His Maitre just chuckled. "You don't hate me yet. If you become more difficult than me, I'll let you know."

John smiled just a little at the humor. But it was the calm expression on Rodney's face that slid his body forward so his neck met the leather of the collar.

It was odd to hear Rodney let out the sigh of relief. "Thank you," his Maitre said quietly. "I didn't know how to show you that you could trust me."

"You waited for me to decide. You didn't force anything until I was ready," John replied. 

"People forced you?" Rodney asked with an incredulous look. He sat on the floor in front of John in an instinctive bid to learn more.

The minute Rodney sat down, John looked extremely uncomfortable. In fact, his insides clenched. His Maitre should not be vulnerable, especially not to him.

Rodney looked puzzled. "Is it too difficult to talk about?" he asked softly. He was still trying to be the good dom, John could tell.

The major shook his head. "You shouldn't be on the floor."

Rodney looked around him, possibly for a threat or for cracks in the flooring.

John knew his Maitre didn't understand. So he said quietly, "A master should not be below his sub."

Rodney started to protest, they were both on the floor after all. Then he realized he was looking up into John's face because he was sitting and John was kneeling. He shrugged. "I can see you better right here."

"But..." John put his head to the floor so he could be lower than Rodney. His body started to tremble slightly. This was not a convention he had expected Rodney to break, so he didn't know how to proceed

Rodney took pity on John and pulled him into his arms. "Is that better?"

John nodded into Rodney's chest.

Rodney sighed as he stroked John's hair softly. He didn't like not knowing what he was supposed to do. But he also didn't like obeying rules just because somebody else said they were a good idea. John had given Rodney a few documents about the lifestyle that he had stored on a computer. Rodney had not been impressed by what he read. Too many talked about breaking the submissives to make sure they did as told or confusing them to keep them on their toes. And that was before they even started to talk about sex.

He couldn't and he wouldn't break John for any reason. The major needed to be ready to defend the city at a moment's notice. So Rodney decided that he would be like Daniel and work to strengthen the man in his arms. But he had to find a way to convince John that was a good idea. He knew John had believed in the documents Rodney had read.

So Rodney whispered in John's ear, "Come with me." Then he stood up and took John's hand.

He draped a towel over John's neck so that the collar couldn't be seen, then guided his sub out of his quarters and to one of the piers.

"Those files you gave me weren't much help," the astrophysicist said as he found an isolated spot and started stripping. "Except for one thing. One of them suggested that you learn how I move so that you can respond to it. So let's go for a swim."

John looked skeptical but obediently stripped off his clothes and let Rodney lead him into the water.

Rodney was usually either wildly expressive in his movements or eerily efficient. Graceful, he was not. But with the water buoying him, he could at least slow down his body so that John could follow along.

John knew how Rodney moved when he was defending himself. He tended to shield himself rather than push the offender away. Now, it was as if the scientist had brought John into that shielding. For he was open and welcoming to John's every movement. But John noticed Rodney kept his back to any space where someone could approach, essentially shielding himself and John.

For a few moments, the major didn't know how to respond to this. Then they heard someone's shoes squeak on the polished floor of the pier, so he pulled Rodney down into the water and under the pier railing where they were hard to spot.

When they came up for air, Rodney had a smile on his face. "I could learn to like this. Thank you."

That was not the threat of punishment for acting on instinct that John was expecting. He hadn't had a dom yet who had appreciated that tendency in him.

So it was even more of a shock when Rodney pulled John tight to him and kissed him.

Rodney often took the other scientists in the city for granted. But even he knew that jewels could be lost if their luster died.

He wanted to help polish his bijou instead. Some gratitude and affection was a good way to start.


End file.
